just something that came up in my brain


New member
people, something that i thought abt when i was walking down by the road... and i need u people to PLS give me ur views... its a short story for a short i am planning.. and its very much abt all of us...about a few guys, who are in desperate need of a script...

well, it begins from a guy who's desperately in need of a story, and is thinking day and night abt it. once, while walking down the road he sees a guy, who has some mental illness, all the guy does, is walk fast, with a cigarette in his mouth, talking with himself. in the hot indian summer, he's walking barefoot! our protagonist finds this guy interesting... but he's in his own turmoil, and forgets abt that guy..
next day he sees him again, and thbe next day, and so on...and he starts to find a story there... he gathers his crew, and briefs them. they would be following the guy wherever he goes, and would record his daily routine...everyone is gung-ho abt this small project, and get ready...
the next day, the sting operation starts, and they follow him wherever he goes... on the roads, through the market, and he's doing the same thing, puffing, mumbling, and walking damn fast! finally, the sun sets, and the madman returns home, and when the filmmakers reach his place, they are stunned... his house is a living tragedy of sorts. an old mother, a crippled wife, a malnourished kid, and not even the basic amenities like food. and to add to this, the bread-winner is not sane....
our protagonist thinks, 'thats enough... some things are so personal, that they are better left untouched, some things cannot be comprehended, cannot be restored, and i dont think i would like to have this on camera. to hell with my film, i cant see this man and family literally going down. he orders a pack up. and again, he starts thinking abt his new storyline the next day

wel......pls let me know... its very patchy yet, and i havent been able to convey exactly what i want to say...but..... would like to hear from all u guys...whataver it is, good, bad, or ugly!!!
thanks!!! [/code]


Senior Member
the way you described your idea for your short and your rough outline, i like it. i like your idea because the elements that can make a short story an actual "story" seem to be there , or if they are not quite there yet, there is definitely room for you to put it there.

i could see how you could make some character development action happen in this outline. you could definitely make the characters interesting. i could also see this idea for a short being very interesting because of the possible shifts of emotion that could take place or be evoked while different things are happening simultaneously -- the fact that the main character has this kind of goal in the first place, his and his crew's adventures trying to accomplish this goal, the idea of how what they do, don't, or can't forecast (both outer and inner events) will actually take place whether they acknowledge some or all of it or not.

there's that general writing guideline that stories are naturally less appreciated when they are so outright preachy. but the way i can visualize how your story could stay away from being "preachy" is first of all, the plot is far from what in the end will be the significance of the story. or maybe the point of the short will be the absence of significance.

your plot is along the lines of - will this writer or aspiring filmmaker meet his short term goal of finding or creating a short story and making his short film... the answer according to your rough outline which will be the end of the story, is no, the main character will not accomplish his short term goal of finding or creating a short story nor will he accomplish making his short film in the end.

considering any other events that might occur in between the beginning and end, how could i see the story as a whole as as not being preachy... other than the different meanings or symbolism that individual viewers may find without being "told" -- that is, if they were "moved" -- the main character's reaction towards his unresolved problem in the end and the way that the main character can acknowledge yet at the same time ignore another human being's "reality" or representation of some realities could make a person think or look for multiple hidden meanings without being told to think.


New member
hey, jody, thanks a lot...

hey, jody, thanks a lot...

hey, thanks a lot for ur comments.. luckily, what i meant to say has come out pretty well. thats what i concluded after i read ur reply. of course, there's still a lot of room for improvement, and the playing of the characters. i saw like a 'film inside a film'...the beginning will be just like how we sit in a cheap restaurant, discussing, and brainstorming, chucking out vague ideas, and finally after a lot of analysis and dissection, come to a common meeting ground. the very realistic and upbeat mood in the beginning changes into a more sombre tone, the end being a mildly sad, mildly shocked, and mildly escapist..
hey thanks a lot for ur comments, really appreciate that... hope to get some equally valuable inputs....
Suhrud Godbole


That was REALLY interesting....

I must say, I felt like I wanna know more about the poor guy.....

Not the personal details but at least a hint....coz I felt really sad for him.